When I was a little girl, at bedtime I sent my prayers to the dead. One at a time, I sent them my love, hugs, and kisses. Eventually, I tired, sent a big hug to everyone else, and fell asleep. Some people count sheep. I prayed to and for everyone who had ever lived.
Now, I pray for peace. I pray for freedom from pain. I pray for my father.
Tuesday night I brought my father to the emergency room due to shortness of breath. When I helped him out of my car, I touched his leg and was shocked at how swollen it was.
He’d been battling cellulitis, a bacterial skin infection. I had no idea how bad his infection had become and was furious that the medical treatment he had received hadn’t killed the bacteria.
Turns out his infection and labored breathing were signs of something far more sinister.
The hospital scanned his leg and his chest. Although my father quit smoking over thirty years ago, decades of smoking since he was thirteen led to lung cancer.
My sister flew down the next day to help. I spent Tuesday night with him in his hospital room. She spent the next night. Neither of us, nor our father, got any sleep.
Due to dementia, my father didn’t understand what was going on and removed the IV that delivered antibiotics and pain medication. The hospital staff removed his IV and gave him medication orally.
My sister and I repeatedly argued with hospital staff over pain medication. Nurses hesitated to give him prescribed doses of opiates on a regular schedule. My sister and I even yelled at a doctor who wanted him off opiates and on high dose acetaminophen. Our concern was our father’s comfort, not the hospital’s liability.
Our father is stoic and macho. He told female nurses that he was fine. He had no such reservations when a male patient technician helped him onto his commode or when his male nurse asked him if he was in pain.
You want to know how much pain a patient is in? Ask those who do the dirty work, those who lift and move the patient. Ask the patient technician, the caregivers, especially when the patient has dementia or doesn’t show his vulnerability to women aside from his wife and daughters. We knew that he was in pain.
Now he is back living with our mother in memory care, receiving hospice services. Pain management and his comfort are paramount.
Please pray for peace, comfort, and freedom from pain. Thank you.
Comments
36 responses to “Hospice — Prayers for Peace and Comfort”
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Thank you. Luckily, my father suffered only one week. He was in terrible pain that last week. I miss him terribly.
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Prayers for you and your family. I know how hard it is to see your father go into a decline totally opposite of how he was while you grew up. Praying for peace and comfort during this time for all of you ?
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Thank you.
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Oh wow. So sorry to hear that but glad you all were able to spend time with him prior to his passing ???
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Thank you, Andrea. Unfortunately, he died a week after we took him to the Emergency Room. At least he died in the same room as he and my mother lived. My mother and I had a chance to spend time with him before he passed.
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Prayers for you all. Thirty years smoke free is amazing ?
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Thank you, Mihran.
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you are always in our thoughts and prayers.
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Prayers for your father and you entire family….
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?
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Thank you. Glad your father recovered.
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Thank you.
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Thank you, Cassandra.
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Thank you. God bless.
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Thank you.
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Thank you. Hospice is a compassionate choice for end of life.
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Thank you, Joy!
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Thank you!
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Thank you, Mark.
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I’m so tired, I didn’t even notice.
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Thank you, Dyane. Love you, too.
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Thank you. Love Theodor Seuss Geisel.
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I am praying for you Kitt, and for your dear Father. This must be so painful. My Dad was in Hospice Care at home for awhile, but he actually got better. But those were some dark days and I understand. I won’t forget you or your Father for even a second! <3 <3
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So very sorry Kitt. Sending my warmest thoughts.
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All my thoughts to you and yours In this time of grief, Kitt. My prayers are with you and your family.
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See the emotional turmoil created dealing with your father’s bacterial infection + dementia + medical decisions regarding risk/benefits associated with pain treatment are creating in your blog. Will pray your family be given the ability to persevere during this critical situation, Kitt.
God Bless + Namaste + Take Care !!! -
Sending Reiki.
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My father went to a hospice almost a year ago. The doctors wanted to take heroic measures, but when the subject of hospice came up, he said that that’s where he wanted to be. He only made a few weeks there, but he was much happier and in almost no pain.
Praying for you and your father. Even though I’m crying now, it was time for my father and he had made peace with the situation. It was time. -
Prayers for comfort for your father, and strength for you and your family. You will be in my thoughts.
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So sorry to hear this. It’s so tough to watch a loved one suffer, and dementia only complicates care issues. Sending thoughts of peace and comfort to you and your family.
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Sending positive thoughts to you both. xo
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Prayers, love and light coming for you all Kitt. It most certainly isn’t a good time, everyone struggling with their ability to comprehend and adjust to what is happening. And the dementia for your dad must be really causing him confusion with all that is happening, it is difficult enough on its own.
Big hugs to you all, and a love and peace to give you all strength to see this through <3 -
Jeez – forgive me for mixing up that last line, since I meant “peace, comfort, and freedom from pain”!!!!!! Comfort from pain is not my style, you know that!!!!!! ?
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I am thinking of you and your family so much today. I know many others in our blogosphere and beyond are too. Sending you my love and for your father: peace, freedom, and comfort from pain. Love you, Kitt.
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I have been listening to an audio book by Brenden Burchard. He recommends planting triggers for how you want to respond to everyday situations. One of his tips is to put a reminder in your phone to “bring joy” to your day wherever you are. It’s not always easy to be joyous and it certainly doesn’t come naturally when you are with a loved one who is in pain, but enjoying every minute you have with your father can make that time less difficult. I have a friend who recently lost his wife. He used a quote from Dr.Seuss to heal: Don’t cry because it’s over…smile because it happened. I was humbled by his strength. I’m praying for your family!
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