Search results for: “bipolar”
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Regrets
Regret Not Being a Good Enough Mother Feeling sick, difficult to sit with how I have parented my son. It’s been hard, but I have done my best. I feel sorry for him. He complains that I yell at him, that I am abusive, too loud. That he experiences me as abusive kills me, causes…
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Where Am I Going From Here?
Went to group therapy Tuesday, and attended my first Toastmasters meeting earlier that day. Toastmasters was very structured, probably too structured for my tastes, though worked well in that they covered a lot of ground in one hour. Mentioned in group that I completed my continuing education units to renew my Marriage and Family Therapist…
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LMFT
Back in 1990 I got an MA in psychology from New College of California. I worked hard over the next two years to rack up the then required 3,000 internship hours, and study for and pass both the written and oral exams to become what was then called a Marriage Family and Child Counselor. The…
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Not Just Dysthymia
Not until I was 39, was I diagnosed as having bipolar disorder. I am now 50. At 39, I recognized the symptoms of mania in myself, euphoria, the feeling of being called by God to a particular church, to a particular path. The diagnostic criteria have changed over the years. For two decades, I had been…
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Mother and Wife
When my son was young, I juggled working outside the home with mothering and homemaking. By the time he was four, I found it unsustainable and ended up in a psychiatric hospital for two weeks and then months in partial hospitalization spending my days in structured group therapy sessions. Since then I have been a…
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Playing Therapist
At group this week, I played therapist. I was a PATIENT, not the therapist, who, by the way, calmly and ably led the group. For a while, I took over. I could not contain my reaction to what I heard. The part of me that reacts to perceived danger and is impassioned about protecting people…
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Do I Need an Editor?
Do I need an editor? Do I need to organize my writing into a more cohesive whole? Or, does this format fit what I am trying to accomplish? What is it I am trying to accomplish? I believe that I have a ministry to educate others on mental illness, specifically bipolar disorder, more to the…
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To Conform or Not to Conform
I always have had a beef with conformity, with hiding your authentic self to fit in with the crowd. Why not be brave and be yourself? Why not be different? Isn’t that what makes life interesting? As I have aged, though I still am very much Kitt, I find I have more in common with…
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Balancing Priorities
Motherhood is difficult. Over the years, I have felt torn between mothering, being a devoted wife, working outside my home, studying in seminary, and volunteering in my community. I have found myself repeatedly taking on and then reneging commitments due to conflicts in my responsibilities, the primary one being motherhood. On top of it all,…