Not sleepy and it’s late
Been bitchy
Too critical
On the rag
Approaching menopause
Had a couple of days of clouds
Of gloom
Now this
Change again
Back to sunny
Too soon
Too much
Cannot take it
Make up your fucking mind
What is it?


  1. Thank you, Jason.

  2. Reblogged this on The Root Of Anger and commented:
    Kitt hit this right on the head! I can relate on so many levels. Sometimes it comes on so fast, it takes a minute to recognize and adjust to. I love the way it’s written, too; straight forward and real.

  3. Thank you, Doreen!

  4. I’m glad that you’ve found meaning amid your struggling. You’re welcome!

  5. I’m glad you recognize that this will pass and it’s also good for others to be able to relate to.

  6. Thank you so much for the flattery. I love it! One of the things I most miss as a stay-at-home mother is the positive feedback of other adults. I was always teacher’s pet, you know, that annoying straight-A student who wanted more, not less, homework. I was a drama queen, too, and I have no stage here as I sit in our family room with Thumper, our HUGE labradoodle, sleeping nearby. Coco, our smaller barely-standard-sized poodle, must be cuddled in his nested dog beds hiding in the corner behind our weight set in the living room. Our living room has been taken over by my husband and son. We have a GIGANTIC Vectra 1600 3-station weight set and a bicycle repair rack with tools arranged on the fireplace mantle and hearth for my two serious mountain bikers (I’m a occasional casual rider). To give you an idea of how much real estate our dogs take up in our house, we have two large dog beds in the family room, nesting dog beds in our living room, and two large orthopedic memory foam dog beds in our son’s room where they sleep at the night.

    A walk would be a good idea, by the way.

  7. I love this poem because it’s real and authentic and I frankly feel I could have written myself (although not as well as you) many times!!! Including this past week every day!

    Chocolate, as Susan Irene Fox noted, TOTALLY helps, but for me it needs to be good-quality & satisfying to truly help shift my mental state. I just went to Safeway and got some Gelati – a delectable gelato – yum. I bought two flavors: double chocolate and cookie dough bits. There are other flavors like strawberry, salted caramel & mint chip. They come in a cute container that’s very useful for recycling in your home for whatnot.

    Aside from ice cream therapy, cardio exercise (elliptical or walking briskly in nature) helps me feel less horrible in my own skin. But I know how hard that is to do.

    I am impressed by how you wrote this even though you felt lousy. That, to me, shows you are a true Writer. You also got so much across in a very short amount of lines, which shows to me that you are not only a Writer, but an Excellent Writer!

    So put that in your pipe and smoke it! (Not literally. I have always gotten a kick out of that phrase even though I despise cigarettes & pipes)

    Sending you a big hug, my friend. Off to share this on Twitter etc.! Lucy Sausage Puppy sends you warm regards, and wants you to know she’s growing by the hour, to her human mom’s chagrin.

    Dyane “Pretty Much Perimenopausal” Harwood

  8. Great idea! Thanks, Susan, for the suggestion.

  9. Thank you, Aul. Actually, I believe that God gave me this illness for a reason. First of all, it necessitated me staying home with my son because I just couldn’t balance work, motherhood, and coping with bipolar disorder. My son has had his own struggles, including debilitating migraines since he was a toddler. He needed and still needs me at home. I also believe that God has called me to a mental health ministry, and that writing this blog is part of that ministry. Thank you for your prayers.

  10. It just comes out when the mood dictates, usually when I can’t put it any other way.

  11. Oh, Kitt, I have been there. The irritability. The insomnia. The racing. Your own personal, internal gremlin-with-a-blow-torch. Not pleasant. One word. Chocolate.

  12. All I can say is that I’m sorry, but if this is the nature of your illness, then might I suggest that you embrace your illness and offer it to God? You could even offer your suffering or your bad mood, or your attempts to control it, to God with a specific intention. Who knows, maybe someone could convert to Christianity because you offered up your state of unrest? This obviously isn’t an easy thing to do, but it is a wise thing to do. Something good can come out of something bad (I mean no offense). And it might even reverse somewhat your mood…because that’s what generosity does.
    And I’ll pray for you anyway…trying to say that as humbly as possible.

  13. I didn’t know you did poetry, hope you do more.

  14. Steady beat, very frank.

  15. Yes, Aul, I am. But, this too shall pass. This mood, this state of unrest. It’s the nature of my illness. All is not always right or stable or pleasant. But I know that I will return to a better place. No need to worry or even pray. Just doesn’t feel good to be in my skin right now.

  16. I hope you are not referring to yourself…

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