Today’s prompt was to think of three songs then free write about them. I came up with two. Two perfect songs. Both beautiful. Both worthy of life. Both true. Duke Ellington I love. I’ve been a fan of his for decades. Perhaps since I was a young girl as my father loved straight-ahead jazz and I inherited his passion for American Jazz. When I took private singing lessons I studied the Ellington songbook. My fantasy was to be singing jazz standards in a slinky dress while on top of a grand piano. Rosemary Clooney’s sexy voice and Ellington’s band is perfect.
What better flip side to Mood Indigo than Pharrell’s Happy? I feel both. I embrace both. I am a passionate woman. Here I free write within my WordPress Dashboard not sure whether or not I will share this. Most likely I will. I tend to rewrite to edit. Wonder if I will, or if I will simply let this go off into cyberspace.
Matters not to me, quite honestly. What does matter is that I explain that I embrace the sad as well as the happy. I must take care of myself… blah, blah, blah… That’s for my readers. Not for this exercise.
This exercise is about free writing. About unedited, uncensored writing. Oh – that’s right. Just recalled there is a third song – The Wall by Pink Floyd. Yes, I was always a total geek and loved school, yet maintained what I consider to be intellectual defiance or at least the ability to question authority while still following the law, the rules. My mind, I believe at least, is free. Yes, I’ve been traditionally educated in public schools. I’m thankful for my education. But, I remain in a way (perhaps) an iconoclast. I revel in my difference.
Give me a stage and I perform. I love it. I will speak up when no one else will. I do not fear consequences for I believe that living by taking risks is more rewarding than living in fear without taking risks. So, yes I disclose things that may expose me to … cannot even think of the word. Let’s just say to negative consequences. The instance that I am thinking about right now involves me telling my son’s guidance counselor and English teacher that I have bipolar disorder and have slapped my son and that his assignment to speak in front of his class about a vignette from The House on Mango Street about child abuse with the requirement to connect the assignment to something in his life might hit too close to home. I do not fear Children’s Protective Services. I am a VERY involved and motivated mother. I am honest and open. I do not hide my errors. I do not lie. I work hard to be the best mother I can be. I have LOTS of documentation backing me up. I’ve been in therapy. My son has received help. We’ve gotten help as a family. I have professionals who have worked with us for over a decade (not the same professionals, we have and do move, but we are back where we started, so the first professionals we saw as a family are still nearby). Anyway, those mental health professionals would not doubt vouch for our parenting, for my parenting. So, I fear not.
Back to the songs… Mood Indigo, Happy, The Wall. I fear not sadness nor happiness. I feel both intensely. I need not conform. I need no thought control. I think I’m done for now and will publish this without editing it (though WordPress will make suggestions in terms of spelling and grammar). We shall see. Maybe minor edits. But minimum ones. Like spelling only…
Reblogged this on Kitt O'Malley and commented:
An oldie, but goodie…
I’m glad I found it…
Thanks for reading this older post. Time to start reposting some oldies, but goodies.
Thank you for posting these videos. ‘Happy’ is wonderful!
Thank you. Hope it does help.
Without a doubt improving gut health eliminates nasty symptoms of allergies or food intolerances. Let’s just hope it’s an effective strategy for your son.
I remember when I lived in China I had a couple of canker sores that were very painful – difficult to eat etc. A Chinese friend took me to an herbalist and he gave me a liquid concoction of mixed herbs to balance out the “heat” in my body. Tasted like shit – worked like a charm. I learned later that the Chinese food concept of cooling foods and warming foods is the same as alkaline/acidic concept.
Okay, I guess. The acupuncture he did focused on my son’s stomach and sinuses. He gave my son herbs to take for his stomach and sinuses. Hopefully improving his gut health and sinuses/allergies should improve general health and help with headaches.
As parents we’re desperate to see our children achieve wellness. How did the appointment go with the acupuncturist?
You are quite welcome. 🙂
Blessings! So grateful! Thx Kitt!
Ella is awesome.
Thank you so much, e.
Folks reading these comments, go check out: https://authenticitee.wordpress.com/
Yes Kitt, I agree.
I was just musing on “the Duke”. Since we’re talking jazz,. beside Mr. Davis. I also loved to listen to Thelonius Monk and his quartets, with Charlie Rouse. So lovely. I also had a soft spot for Roland Kirk. His Volunteered Slavery album, was a big hit with me. In many ways, bebop was a pinnacle. My Mom liked Ms. Clooney, but for her and myself, Ella Fitzgerald was the Queen of both vocals and scat. It’s all good … !
Hey Kitt! I have to check out the Pink Floyd one! Listen I know you don’t accept awards anymore but I had to nominate you for another one. If only to introduce your blog to others so they can be as blessed as I am by your content.
Here’s the link, in case ya wanna stop by! http://wp.me/p5ySTq-6z
All the best!
Thanks Kitt! That means a lot! Also, I love how you explain the support network you have that allows you to be open and trusting. Very smart!
I don’t necessarily sing well, but I do enjoy it. Just visited your site. It’s GREAT. Informative, relatable & personable. Thank you for writing about mental health and sharing your experiences.
Wow! Thanks. That’s the ultimate compliment.
Great songs! Free-writing is so carthartic and what a fun glimpse into YOU! I love that you are fearless and love to perform. I wish to be fearless, I love to sing and all that and try to do it in church once in a while – but definitely NOT fearless!
As far as free-writing goes, I thought this was a great example. Thank you for sharing your stories , I like your writing style a lot- keeps me reading to the very last word.
Same to you 😃
Thank you. God bless you.
Thank you, Friend the Cat.
It’s okay. Just wanted to show my appreciation. 😃
Sean, thank you for the Real Neat Blog Award. I no longer accept blog awards, but really appreciate your nomination. Thank you.
Thank you, Dy.
I adore Miles Davis, but he plays instrumental music, not songs. Kind of Blue rocks. Miles was always ahead of the curve and willing to take more risks. I love both. Miles to listen to. Ellington to sing with.
I like your style! =^-^=
Yes. In elementary school, I was open and honest. I believe it helped his teachers to know and understand the stressors he might be under. In junior high, I told his guidance counseling staff, but not all his teachers. He is now a freshman in high school. His school district file is no doubt full. When he was young, he was medicated for ADHD. I worked closely with his teachers to monitor his behavior and any effects of medication changes. He no longer has an ADHD diagnosis. Now the only label we use with him is that he has migraines and needs help to reduce the incidences and severity of his migraines. Tomorrow I’m taking him to an acupuncturist with hope that acupuncture will help him.
You’ve been nominated! For the awesome work that you do. 🙂 See blog for details.
Love this…..so inspiring due to your candor and passion!
Interesting selection and the reasoning for them. I was a teenager in London through 1960’s. My buddy, was a big Ellington fan. Among other musicians. He had about 20 LP’s of the Duke. It reminds me of Soot, when I hear that music. He died too young and will always be a pleasant memory. I always gravitated more toward Miles Davis. Especially, the Kinda Blue album. Though Miles always was ahead of the curve, it seemed? Cheers Jamie http://hirundine.com
I admire your honesty. In other places you’ve lived, did you disclose that you have bipolar to your son’s school staff?