Sometimes, I’m verbal
The words rush
They press
They insist on getting out of my head
They keep me awake at night
Unless I shut them up
Turn them off with meds
Sometimes, though,
I’m simply not
Sometimes, I’m non-verbal
The words are not there
I do jigsaw puzzles
Watch TV
Play with numbers
Rather than words
When the words fly
They are raucous
Noisily filling my mind
Needing to get out
I need relief
So, I write
Then, I must get
The racing commentary
Out of my mind
Onto the screen or paper
In black and white
Where later I reshape them
Edit them into something coherent
Perhaps
Or, perhaps,
Sometimes, I leave them
In a jumbled mess
All over the page
This resonates enormously. I haven’t written yet about my own (extensive) experiences with mood disorders and writing, but this expresses an all too frequent reality so well.
What you write resonates with me. Many poets struggle with mood disorders. Poetry speaks for them, and for you.
I always just have the words. Nodding all the way through this piece. Yes.
Thank you!
And sometimes you love it and sometimes you hate it…
Yes!
It completely relate to me too, I love your poem.
Thank you.
I enjoyed this “verbal” moment from you. Hope you are well and it is great hearing from you!
Thank you, Vic!
Oh, yes, I know those two dichotomies quite well, and there’s not much in between. And when the words aren’t there and I binge-watch Suits or the Great British Baking Show, I know I’m depressed so I let any words that might be simmer until they’re ready to be served up into a post or poem.
Coming out of one of those times now, yet they seem to come more often as I age. Somehow, my poetry seems to communicate more clearly nowadays.
Yep. I binge-watch, too. Nice to cozy up in bed and watch on my iPad.
The urgency of those words…we all understand, Kitt. I often use stream of consciousness writing to sort out my own deepest feelings. Nice to see you here.
Stream of consciousness writing is a wonderful way of letting loose. Great writing exercise, too.
Come to think of it Kitt; sometimes the bug will not leave me alone especially in some dark moments like when I lost my brother. The poetry inspiration, ha I conclude it has its seasons. Back then in Belgium the bug stung on the bus, in the loo on the dinner table, in class etc. Some days now, I do all I can to write some lines oh nada. Thanks for your post and glad you did write this one too. Hope you are striving.
Thank you, Marie. The Muse does strike at various times. I pray that writing has helped you grieve the loss of your brother. I know that he inspired you to help others in Cameroon. Thank you for all that you do, and for your words – so many that you’ve filled and published books.
Yes Kitt, writing did help tremendously then. Wow I blogged twice a day, wrote a book on his journey in just one month, wrote articles for magazines back home, and etc etc. Now with his foundation and all the avenues lining up slowly but surely, I keep writing there and on my blog. I am at heart a mental health advocate and writing is one powerful way to get the word out right? All the best dear Kitt
Yes! Thanks for all you do.
I totally relate. You said it perfectly!
Thanks! You craft your words quite well. Time for me to visit your blog.
A small blessing if words like these can display the heart within Kitt, and the healing that expressing them give…regardless.
Thank you for sharing 😀
Thank you! So sweet.
I completely relate to everything written here.
The first stanza is particularly outstanding – the line “Turn them off with meds”- what a perfect way to express how to extinguish the onslaught of words.
Your devoted follower,
Dy
p.s. I love your artwork!!!
p.p.s. Methinks it’s time for some more spectacular flower images on Kitt O’Malley’s Instagram
Amazing how the right medication can turn off the torrent.
With you, Kitt
i know what this is and it’s very real
My best to you
john
Yep. Why there is a correlation between mood disorders and writing, especially of poetry.