Today I went to a writers’ meetup, and now I am just wiped out. Social stimulation exhausts me. I had a great time, but I’m just not up for it. Just not up for two hours of conversation. Damn fucking brain disorder. I HATE bipolar disorder. My brain is FRIED.
Look at it from my side, I can’t even be in the same room with other people to talk to them. Five minutes and I’m a nervous wreck. I’m 58 and I have two people I know well enough to actually spend more than 5 or 10 minutes with, and my med team. After that, it’s all electronic, or very business-like. No intimacy at any level. People like yourself are my heroes, because despite your disability, you overcome, and make a life for yourself. How cool is that? Please don’t put yourself down, you manage way more than I’ve ever been able to. 🙂
Thank you so much, but you, too, belittle your own achievements.
I guess I also have to work a little harder in that area. Thanks for the heads-up. 🙂
Hope the ibuprofen helped and that you have time to rest and recharge. I’ve definitely grown more introverted with age. Two hours of intense conversation is actually a lot.
I never got up to take the ibuprofen. Took too much effort.
How are you doing now?
Why hate Bipolar Disorder? Aspies hate conversation, too. Why not just hate two hours of conversation? We don’t all have to be social butterflies. It gets easier as you get to know the people. Still sets me off.
True. Maybe just the way I’m made and a matter of finding what fits me.
My husband keeps saying to me “Play the hand you’re dealt.”. And he also says know your limitations. You have a family and are doing so many things I admire. Give yourself a break. Sure it is a drag being mentally ill but in some ways it offers a unique perspective on the world. You’re doing great despite your handicap. I admire all you do.
Thank you, Ellen. I admire you, as well. Very much.
Thank you, Kitt! Surprised– means a lot!
Surprised? How could you possibly be surprised. You are a published author, and an accomplished poet, artist, and photographer. I am in awe of your artistic and spiritual voice.
A self-published author and I don’t think of myself as all that. Besides I think having a kid is such a grand achievement especially since you and your husband sound like such good parents. But thanks. I guess what is most important to me at this point in life is the spiritual. Thank you very much.
That is what ultmately matters. Honestly, I believe that all that really matters is that we give and accept love, that we open ourselves to it.
I know that fried feeling so well, Kitt! Hope you are feeling more refreshed now! Good luck tomorrow!
Still fried. We’ll see.
I understand. What I hate is the inconsistency. Some days I could do that two hours of lively conversation with energy to spare. Some days the thought of it would send me to bed. I never know what my capacity will be when I wake up in the morning, and now I choose to let that be an adventure (most days). I still get discouraged and disappointed, but not with myself any more, just with the situation.
Yes. I have had the similarly inconsistent responses. Some days built up, some days torn down.
Kitt, I know the feeling. As KBailey said, I think it’s also the fact that I’m introverted. My energy is sucked dry when I’m with groups of people. Between the bp and my natural instinct to flee large groups, I need weeks to recuperate. Yep, fried is an excellent word. Praying for peace and rest.
I think my personality has changed over the years. I was once more extroverted.
I’m sorry you’re feeling fried. Social stimulation does that to me, too. It’s a combination of exhaustion and irritation. When I hear the word “fried”, though, I think of fried chicken, extra crispy, and chickens running around with their heads chopped off, and how my neighbors have two chickens and how they cheer/coach each other when they lay their daily eggs . . . Sorry, it also makes me ramble. I hope you’re feeling better now.
Extra crispy fried chicken sounds yummy.
Wow! I know the feeling. Although mine stems from my personality type and not my disorder. Wishing you a restful recovery.
I always thought it was just my introversion (is that a word?) that was to blame for my getting exhausted after I spend time in a group. Are you still fighting hypomania? if it’s none of my business just let me know …
Maybe both. I didn’t used to react this way. I’ve changed over the years.
Fried more than hypomanic. Recovering.
I get really exhausted too…it sucks. I can sit on my laptop all day long though lol
I know! Me, too.
Me too lol
Great image for the way you feel.
Thanks. It’s stock photography, so I can take no credit.
Ah, I thought you really fried the egg, just for this post… 😉
I’m sorry you are feeling so fried! Just want you to know I hate bipolar with a passion, my greatest passion on earth is to hate it! Just an encouraging thought, there always seems to be a purpose for the pain we go through. I know in my heart that your purpose is to help others and you do an incredible job at that! Praying your night gets better!
Thank you. Actually, it just occurred to me that I could take an ibuprofen and feel much better.
I know what you mean. I have turned down three speaking engagements with NAMI in the last month because I don’t think I can handle the people. Social interaction is just impossible some days.
Yeah. I’m worried about whether I will be up for NAMI Provider Education (start the class this Saturday) or NAMI Ending the Silence (have been reading the manual and presentation materials).
I have confidence that not only will you be up for it, you will also do great!
Thank you, Vic. Thank you very much.