I do not whisper. I ROAR.

Originally posted January 11, 2015 on STIGMAMA.COM
I do not whisper. I ROAR. Kitt O’Malley | Stigmama

Motherhood has been transformational for me. I am NOW building a new foundation. My identity changed. Now it changes again. I have constantly reinvented myself over and over during my lifetime. Going from majoring in biochemistry as a pre-med student at UCLA, where I was miserable and suicidal, to studying part-time at a community college as I bided my time and tried to find my direction, to finding my place as a legal studies major at UC Berkeley, I tried to reconcile my inner turmoil with very high professional aspirations. First I worked as a legal assistant, then went to graduate school, earned a master’s in psychology and became a psychotherapist, only to crash and burn. Recovering from that breakdown, I re-entered the workforce as a temporary file clerk in the commercial real estate industry where I had ten years of success. Trying to balance work with motherhood, I failed miserably, and ended up hospitalized in a psychiatric unit with rapid cycling and mixed symptoms of bipolar disorder. After months of partial hospitalization, I became a reluctant stay-at-home mother on disability. What does an overeducated and reluctant stay-at-home mother with a recurring sense of religious calling (or a manic and delusional symptom of bipolar disorder, depending on one’s perspective) do with her mind? Why attend seminary, of course, which I did on two separate occasions and on two separate occasions had to quit.

Here I am… Here I am putting pen to paper. Here I am writing down my story again. To what end? To reinvent myself once again – not as someone who is ill, but as someone who fights and loves and writes and has hope that new chapters of my life lie ahead of me. I will NOT be a caretaker forever. I have a voice that must be heard. I have a message to share and share it I do. I am not just my son’s mother. I am not my diagnosis. I am able. I am able to affect change. I wield power. I am a mover and a shaker. I do not whisper. I ROAR.

Kitt O'Malley2015-01-11T12:59:45-08:00January 11th, 2015|Categories: Bipolar Disorder, Bipolar Parenting, Depression, Hypomania, Mental Health, Mental Health Advocacy, Motherhood, Parenting, Recovery, Stigma, Writing|22 Comments

About the Author: Kitt O'Malley

Bipolar Writer & Mental Health Advocate

22 Comments

Too Tired to Write – Kitt O'Malley June 22, 2015 at 4:31 pm

[…] health issues is a balancing act. When my son was very young, I tried working as well, and ended up hospitalized. I could only juggle so many roles. Recently I’ve been exhausted. Too involved in attending […]
Kitt O'Malley February 15, 2015 at 5:51 am

Thank you!
supermommyoftwins February 15, 2015 at 4:51 am

This is so amazing and resonates deeply, as I can relate!
Ten Year Anniversary of Hospitalization – Kitt O'Malley February 14, 2015 at 6:30 pm

[…] my post I do not whisper. I ROAR., I said this about the hospitalization ten years […]
Kitt O'Malley January 19, 2015 at 10:33 am

Thank you!
Indah Susanti January 19, 2015 at 1:49 am

Inspiring Kitt! Great post!
Kitt O'Malley January 13, 2015 at 6:40 pm

Thank you, Michelle.
michelletoussaint January 13, 2015 at 5:41 pm

Great job, good post, living in a place where people still act like mental issues are a myth, reading this gives a renewed sense of comfort I look forward to reading more from you.
Kitt O'Malley January 11, 2015 at 9:40 pm

Thank you.
findingmysunshine86 January 11, 2015 at 7:05 pm

I absolutely love this post and you do so much for mental advocacy…it is a privilige to have found you in the blogosphere! Thank you for sharing your story and helping others!
Kitt O'Malley January 11, 2015 at 6:02 pm

Thank you, Eli!
Eli Pacheco January 11, 2015 at 5:20 pm

So glad i read this today. Amazing post from an amazing writer. I didn’t know all this, and some hits close to home.
Kitt O'Malley January 11, 2015 at 3:32 pm

Thank you, Lady Dy, or for alliterative flair, Dame Dy.
Kitt O'Malley January 11, 2015 at 3:26 pm

All of us who advocate for the destigmatization of mental illness ROAR together as a whole. The more voices joined together, the louder the noise, the less likely we will be ignored.
Kitt O'Malley January 11, 2015 at 3:22 pm

Thank you so much. I’m flattered.
Kitt O'Malley January 11, 2015 at 3:21 pm

The more voices, the louder the ROAR, the more the earth trembles. Yes, we all ROAR together. That is our power.
Kelly January 11, 2015 at 3:14 pm

A-mazing post, Kitt. You are amazing too.
Laura P. Schulman, MD, MA January 11, 2015 at 2:32 pm

Wait a minute, that’s MY life you’re talking about ;-)! Can we ROAR together??!!
dyane January 11, 2015 at 2:16 pm

I love every single bit of this! Tweeted, shared, and permanently filed in my brain! 😉
Bipolar1Blog January 11, 2015 at 1:54 pm

Wow, so powerful! I am amazed at your resilience and your abilities. I hear you ROAR! Maybe I’ll be right behind you roaring! Go Kitt!!!
Kitt O'Malley January 11, 2015 at 1:25 pm

Thank you, Emma.
Emma Duncan January 11, 2015 at 1:22 pm

Wow, identity is so important to us humans isnt it? as a SAHM myself i struggle with it regularly but without your added bipolar complications. I cant begin to imagine what it is like but I really hope this new start will be wonderful and transformative for you.