My mother’s speech therapist (a great guy and excellent speech therapist) called me today so that I could participate in her speech therapy. Friday, when I first met with him and my parents, he told me to work with my mother daily. Afterwards, I freaked out, was bitchy and short-tempered with my husband and son, and finally called my sister who reminded me that I do not have to do what the speech therapist tells me to do. 
Tuesday when he called, I was too busy to join them. My son had school (or at least was scheduled to attend school, he got a migraine and stayed in bed). My father’s brother and sister were visiting from Chicago. And…I had psychotherapy (which I needed). So…I told him that I could not make it. 
He called again this morning. At first I agreed to meet him at my parents’ board and care. Then, I thought, no, I need to relax today. Tuesday was eventful. Wednesday, even more so. 
Yesterday I arranged for my son to Skype his morning class (I forget why he struggled yesterday. Each day is a new struggle.). Then I sat on the panel as a (former) mental health provider (I am a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who maintains her license but hasn’t practiced psychotherapy for over two decades) to teach NAMI’s Provider Education course (teaching it every Wednesday afternoon this month through the first week of February). Then…I had dinner with my husband, aunt and uncle. VERY BUSY day for me. Social demands stress me. I needed to recuperate. 
Needing moral support, I talked to my son who agreed I should cancel (not his job to offer me moral support, but he was handy). He, after all, is sick again today, and he is my primary responsibility (yes, I know, I’m not his responsibility, but I need him to help out more now). So…I called the speech therapist back and told him I couldn’t participate in my mother’s speech therapy due to my need to take care of myself (as I have bipolar disorder) and my son (as he has chronic health issues). He was very understanding. Afterwards, I called my sister for congratulations which she enthusiastically gave me. Yay!


35 responses to “I Said "No!"”

  1. Thanks so much, Kitt – I know you have so much going on. It means a lot to me that you “stopped by” here at Chez Dyane (and Lucy!) 😉 XO

  2. Prayers for safe drives with stoned and tweaked drivers (I know they really are) and for Lucy. Haven’t gotten around to writing recently. Been busy.

  3. God, you know I’m way out of it when it takes this long to comment on one of my all-time favorite blogs.
    I read this post when it first came out, but I’ve been going through a weird time where I haven’t commented anywhere on time. I know you understand. I loved the title “I Said ‘No!’ – and I was SO GLAD to learn that you did just that! I wonder how you’re doing with your parents, and the rest of the family. I pray it’s going more smoothly in all areas. Loved your recent dog photos on Instagram!!!!
    So, I’m sending you lots of love this very moment. Gotta do one of my exciting jobs braving the stoned and tweaked drivers on Highway 9 (no joke) to take the girls to ballet. Pray for me. Also please send Lucy some healing energy as she (finally) got spayed today.

  4. That’s a great way of putting it. Thanks.

  5. what an act of self care! a job well done.
    why is no, with two letters, so much harder to say yes, with its three letters. i mean, no is 1/3 shorter.
    I think is has it roots in no being negative and bad, while yes is seen as positive and good. who wants to be bad, which makes it that much harder to say no because who wants to be negative and bad.
    i truly comes down to balance.for me, in this case, true balance could be achieved by saying no just as often as i say yes. can you imagine that? it is a little hard for me to fathom.

  6. Big hugs right back at you.

  7. Kitt,
    As someone who also stopped practicing… as a speech therapist, in fact- I can relate to the therapist’s desperation to find family support. Therapy techniques often benefit most when reinforced by the people who see the client most frequently.
    However, I also advised my clients’ family members to take care of themselves first. You cannot pour from an empty glass. It is great you acknowledge your limitations and stand your ground with confidence.
    I hope your mother is finding assistance with her therapy practice with others in her support network ^^

  8. Oooooh, now you’ve brought the tears. I’ve been given permission you see. Thanks Kitt – big hugs

  9. Please recuperate. Please take care of yourself.

  10. Thank you, Sheldon. Love your poetic comments.

  11. Congrats and well done, Kitt! and the crowd went wild. For some reason its difficult putting ourselves first and you nailed it. I’m proud of you. You’ve also taught me something…..I often find myself needing to, as you said, recuperate. But I always thought I was just being daft. So thanks for that enlightening addition. Now I can give myself permission to recuperate 😀

  12. I have been there and back
    I know what you are going through
    Take care of yourself
    Thank you for visiting
    See you on the other side of creativity

  13. Thank you, Vincent.

  14. You’re very welcome Kitt! Still praying for you and yours my friend!

  15. Please do. It is so easy to get burned out. Do what you are able to do. Leave the rest to those who are there to help. The biggest thing you can do is to just love them.

  16. The owner of my parents’ board and care called me and told me that she was concerned that I was not taking care of myself. She told me that that was their job and to take some time off and care for myself.

  17. Yes, it is. Always trying to please and to serve. Need to take care of myself.

  18. Thank you for sharing.

  19. I am sorry you are struggling so hard to take of so many people in your life. I guess we all try to do everything for everybody at some time in our lives. But like my mum would tell me, “You cannot take care of us (meaning my mum & dad) until you can take care of yourself.” Please take some time for you and REST. You need it and deserve it. God bless!

  20. Wow! You were able to say no and not feel guilty over it? Well done! That’s three huge steps ahead of me!

  21. I am glad you are thinking of yourself and willing to say no! Take care!

  22. NO….it has a nice ring to it. Use it more often, Kitt. ?

  23. Good for you Kitt!

  24. Good decision Kitt and I agree with Bipolar1Blog – come first to take care of yourself. My best wishes for you, Kitt and your son too 🙂

  25. Yes thank you, I am back in Louisville.

  26. Yep. Hope you are well. In Pakistan or US now? I’ve been busy, and haven’t kept up with my reading…

  27. It is hard to set limits, but it is necessary. Good for you!

  28. Excellent! Good for you and way to go to the speech therapist understanding the necessity for the caregiver to take care of themselves.

  29. Good for you! You have to take care of yourself if you are to take care of your whole family!

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