
Dad and Me Learning How to Brush My Teeth
Unlike grief theories that propose defined stages, grief is not linear, nor is it universal. We grieve differently.
Now I feel nothing. I’m numb. My psychologist describes it as “taking care of business,” reframing what I’m going through, my coping mechanism, in a positive way.
Quoting MedlinePlus, NIH, U.S. National Library of Medicine at https://medlineplus.gov/ency/article/001530.htm
Grief
People’s responses to grief will be different, depending on the circumstances of the death. For example, if the person who died had a chronic illness, the death may have been expected. The end of the person’s suffering might even have come as a relief. If the death was accidental or violent, coming to a stage of acceptance might take longer.
Symptoms
One way to describe grief is in five stages. These reactions might not occur in a specific order, and can occur together. Not everyone experiences all of these emotions:
- Denial, disbelief, numbness
- Anger, blaming others
- Bargaining (for instance, “If I am cured of this cancer, I will never smoke again.”)
- Depressed mood, sadness, and crying
- Acceptance, coming to terms
People who are grieving may have crying spells, trouble sleeping, and lack of productivity at work.
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I lost my son this past Thanksgiving and everything about me has changed since then. I am constantly busy! My sister (the psycologist) says I am doing a self imposed diversion therapy. I suppose she is right.
My psychologist noted that I had been very busy and discussing multiple topics in therapy. She suggested I do less. Doing less allowed me to grieve more, to feel more.
I send my love to you and hold you in my prayers. I can only imagine how painful it must be to lose your son.
I recently wrote about something similar. Happy to have found your blog.
I just read a few posts on your blog. Thank you for sharing your grief journey. I’m crying after having read your post about rainbows. Thank you.
In reading your blog I see that we can definitely relate. Glad to be on this journey with you.
I’ve been thinking of you and I wish you well in your grief process. You already know this, but anything you feel or don’t feel at any given moment is okay. If you ever feel I can be of any service to you as a listener I hope you will let me know.
Thank you, Tertia.
I love this photo. I am sorry for your loss, sorry that words are so insufficient. Numb is okay. This feeling will change, and when it does, that is okay too.
The hospice grief counselor suggested I wait a couple of weeks before I attend a grief support group. Now, I need to protect myself. I must take care of business.