As a child I wanted to be a doctor
To cure people of disease
As a teen I wanted to be a neurosurgeon
To fix brains with a scalpel
As a young woman
I became a psychotherapist
To fix troubled youth with broken lives
With the exchange of spoken words
I kept falling apart
My brain was broken
My thoughts self-loathing or racing
My emotions unbearably intense
Over and over
I sought and received help
First with psychotherapy
Later with medicine
Today I remain a broken woman
Still healing, still learning
Today I use words, written words, spoken words
To touch, heal, and teach others
Or so I hope
[…] As a Child […]
[…] As a Child at Kitt O’Malley […]
Thank you, Jeff Nguyen at http://deconstructingmyths.com/2014/09/19/jeffster-awards-33/, for nominating this post for the Jeffster Award.
You have the courage to continue on your journey 🙂
Thank you. Yes, of course I have the courage. I have a kid, too, who needs me. And, I have purpose.
Thank you for your honesty. I think as humans being we all need to touch a life. For the benefit and our own.
Oh, Kitt, we are all broken, but it different ways. May the words you speak and write continue to heal your heart and soul. And may they continue to breathe life into others…myself included.
With heart,
Dani
I agree, Dani, that we are all broken and that it is okay that we are broken. We are loved in our brokenness.
You are not alone, there is a silent army of us.
Broken but who keep it together to take care of the world.
We leave ourselves behind and suffer.
I should have learned how to be selfish instead of a codependent.
We must take care of ourselves, yes. But my brokenness is not so much due to codependence as it is to mental illness. Having bipolar disorder does put me at risk of overworking during my hypomanic phases, of which employers once did take advantage.
I wish that I could blame it on “bi-polar”. I have been upgraded to major depressive disorder as they’ve added Abilify (hello weight gain!). It’s never easy…
Hang in there!
Major depressive disorder can be biological in origin, as well as a reaction to grief or to trauma.
Well, I believe that I’ve got all of those on my side…
But I am heading in the right direction.
Everyday I am doing (ok, maybe every other day) something for ME.
Today I cleared off my cluttered desk!
Bravo! Small victories are huge victories. Upon them, we build our recovery to improved mental health.
Your words have been of great support to me Kitt. I truly think you have an empathy that shines despite the miles between us.
I am studying psychology and perhaps this is what leads us to such paths, our underlying experience – I was not aware of my bipolar or even deep troubles before starting my study path. I of course was aware I suffer depression from ‘time to time’ but ultimately working with children in care as a foster carer is what drove me into psychology in my concious mind.
Thank you so much for taking the time to support me, i will be forever grateful and wish you well for years to come.
Thank you, and thank you for fostering children. I wish you the best with your mental health, in your psychology studies, and in your future.
Thanks for sharing, Kitt.
Your poem is touching, beautiful and graphic.
Your words do help others, I can vouch for that.
Glad I found your blog.
Emma x.
Thank you, Emma.
Hi and many thanks
Thanks
avi
You are welcome.