Hello, Summer
Summer is here. This will be my son's last summer before starting high school. How exciting! (I'm so proud!) Time for me to savor mothering him before it's too late. In four short years he'll [...]
Suicide Infanticide
Long, long ago When my son was very, very young I thought of killing myself But what about my son? I can’t leave him behind Well then, I’ll take him with me Oh, [...]
Bad Mom
Bad mom Selfish mom Ineffective mom Permissive mom Bipolar mom At times, abusive mom At times, out of control mom At times, rageful mom She's even hit her kid She's even slapped her kid [...]
Thanks on Father’s Day
Tonight, as I sit beside my husband watching videos of our son downhill mountain biking earlier today, I decided to express my gratitude in celebration of Father's Day. My husband is a private [...]
The Rebel and His Mother
The Rebel When my son was a preschooler in daycare His class had a field trip to the local In ‘N Out As we walked back to the daycare center My son held [...]
From Age Thirty to Thirty-Seven
After I had my breakdown at age thirty, I moved back in with my parents. I found I wasn’t able to function on my own. I would fall asleep driving to my temporary [...]
Chafing at Structure?
Tuesday April 29th I went to group therapy and attended my first Toastmasters meeting. Toastmasters was very structured, probably too structured for my tastes; though, the structure worked well in that they covered [...]
Regrets
Regret Not Being a Good Enough Mother Feeling sick, difficult to sit with how I have parented my son. It’s been hard, but I have done my best. I feel sorry for him. [...]
Exhausted
Starting to recuperate from the last two weeks. Still exhausted. Sleepless nights, partly due to hypomania and stress, partly to dogs whining to go out in the wee hours of the morning. Too [...]
Postpartum
Thoughts and urges Never disclosed Never shared Until now Little baby boy Pretty rose between his legs So pretty Want to take him in my mouth So yummy Want to eat him up [...]