Balancing Priorities
Motherhood is difficult. Over the years, I have felt torn between mothering, being a devoted wife, working outside my home, studying in seminary, and volunteering in my community. I have found myself repeatedly [...]
Living in My Head
I live my life in my head, in thoughts, in daydreams. My thirteen year old son, sitting next to me in the car, sees me gesturing to my internal monologue and urges, "Mom, [...]
Compassion Meditation
May sharing this Compassion Meditation bring peace. May I be held in compassion. May I be free from pain and suffering. May I be at peace. May you be held in compassion. May [...]
Obsessive Thoughts
We never really know the content of others' thoughts, if they think in the same way as we do, in words, conversation, images, or impulses. When I was in my twenties, I sought [...]
Siren Song
I have heard the siren song of alcohol and marijuana. Craved the quieting of my thoughts, the slowing down. Prescribed medications do help immensely, but I still understand and am wary of alcohol's [...]
Grief, Anxiety, and Hypomania
So what brought on this flurry of activity, this bout of defensive hypomania, the birth of this blog at this point in time? Two things: one, I forgot to take valproic acid Thursday [...]
Titrating Stimulation
Find I must titrate exposure to stimulation. Need enough to prevent depression, but not so much as to trigger hypomania. Enough, but not too much sun. Have to be very careful with social [...]
Writing History Trashed
At one point in the past year, in an attempt to de-clutter a hopelessly cluttered house, I tossed all of my letters, journals, papers, and essays into the recycling. Later I regretted it [...]
The Outsider
As some of you may know, I struggle with bipolar disorder. I'm impetuous, speaking without thinking. I feel compelled to say what others won't. And, by pointing out the elephant in the room, [...]
Orator in my Mind
I think in dialogue. Actually, it's a monologue, an interview, and I'm the oh-so-interesting interviewee, sharing my thoughts on everything. I know I am "daydreaming," that I am talking to myself in my [...]